There are NO grey areas... LIFE or DEATH!

So this blog is going to be different from previous ones.. this one may make people mad at me, dislike me, unfriend me on FB, etc but it is something I have to do for my own sanity!! So read if you will but proceed with knowing that you more than likely will not like all I have to say but I will not apologize for my feelings and convictions... With that being said..

Last night I could NOT for the life of me fall asleep. As most of everyone in MS knows we are facing a possible historic ballot come November 8! I have to say I am completely SHOCKED by the number of opposers out there.. I knew for sure that when word got out about saving the lives of innocent babies that it would go through for sure here in the Bible belt of MS.. boy have I been wrong!! When I read all the posts out there about how "I am voting "NO" because it takes away birth control, or it makes a rape victim have the baby, or it will do away with IVF, or any other EXCUSE you could possibly come up with I am SAD, ANGRY, IRRITATED, FRUSTRATED, APPALLED, DISGUSTED, and this list goes on!

I had tons of time to get alone with my thoughts last night and the more I thought the more I wanted to get on top of the tallest building in the world and scream to the top of my lungs!!! WHY?!?! Why would people say "I am Pro-Life but I cannot make myself vote yes to something with such grey areas... I am by no means Pro-Abortion... but think about it .. what you just said and what you are voting NO on is basically saying.. I am PRO-CHOICE!! That my friends is the SAME thing in my book!! A Pro-Life person views life as just that, LIFE, no matter what the cost! To me, a child's life is far more valuable than ANY OTHER THING IN THIS WORLD!! God gave women, only women, the most beautiful gift of being able to carry a child and nurture it.. the most safest place for a baby has now become the most hostile, in its own mother's womb.. and guess what folks.. that is on us!! We have stood by year after freaking year and said it's not a baby, a woman has rights.. blah blah blah!! Yea, I'm on a soap box but this is one issue that has always gotten me fired up and I am really fired up because of all the outrageous and flat out ridiculous EXCUSES people are falling for!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!! KILLING A BABY IS KILLING A BABY.. NO EXCUSE IS GONNA CHANGE THAT!! If this does NOT pass do you realize how many babies will be killed because of CHOICE?!?! And you are ok with that?!?! Oh, let's wait and let them work out the kinks so we ALL can be pleased with how it is written.. all the while babies are being killed by the hands of their MOTHERS!! SERIOUSLY?!?! Have we become that society?? Where so called Christians care more about other peoples birth control and others things that we cannot firmly stand up for the voiceless??? As a believer in God, the Creator of all things, I cannot fathom Him sitting by and being OK with this decision!! In fact, I think He is appalled that we have stood by this long with the blood of some 53 million babies on our hands!! I don't think He is ok with us "waiting" while the bill is worded JUST RIGHT to OUR LIKING!! Oh my, God have mercy on us because I had more faith in humanity than this but I am now beginning to see that I really should not have... people I never in a million years would vote NO are doing so and it is literally breaking my heart!!

As I look at my little girl and the miracle she is and the blessing she has been to all those around her I cannot think of one single circumstance that would have made me choose NOT to have her.. I love her more than life itself and I would gladly give my own for her to live!! I choose to raise her with values that place human life over that of anything else in this world.. ANYTHING!! I would hope and pray that if a circumstance such as rape did happen that she would stand by her morals and would choose life! You can call me crazy but that is how much I value life!! It is not the baby's fault and he/she should NOT suffer for the crimes of the father!! Plus, my daughter would suffer much more if you add the emotional trauma and guilt that abortion would place on top of that!!

This is an issue where there are NO grey areas... Pro-LIFE or Pro-CHOICE! LIFE or DEATH.. YOU CAN'T BE JUST A LITTLE DEAD...  By voting NO you are voting Pro-Choice and that is just all there is to it! You can say that is not the case, I am not Pro-Abortion but by voting AGAINST the first bill to ever hit our state or nation that would do away with the issue you are so against then yes my friend, you are indeed voting to keep abortion alive and well..

I feel like I could just keep going but for the sake of writing a novel I will stop here! I have a Pro-Life argument for ANY Pro-Choice argument out there!! I just don't have the time to cover it all.

Honesty.. Is it still the best policy??

Honesty:

1.  honorable in principles, intentions, and actions; upright and fair: an honest person.

2.  showing uprightness and fairness: honest dealings.

3.  gained or obtained fairly: honest wealth.

4.  sincere; frank: an honest face.

5.  genuine or unadulterated: honest commodities.

First off, I do not have one particular person in mind while I write this.. this has happened to me with pretty much every body in my life at some point or another.. just needing some clarity on the subject.. get some feedback on how others view this as well.. 

With that said.. I have been thinking about honesty A LOT lately.. and how it is taught to us at a very young age, well, most of us anyway :) It then occurred to me that although it is something I was taught early on and have prided myself in being an honest person, I have found that I am not as honest as I once thought.. but I'm not sure if its a bad thing or maybe a good thing.. 

It is easy being honest when it comes to like taxes, applications, being honest in my marriage etc. things like that but in the everyday things.. the things that can hurt a person's feelings, a relationship that you hold dear, etc. those types of things are the ones that kill me.. the small things that get to you but you push to the side for the sake of others "peace" or "feelings" .. all the while pushing your "peace" and "feelings" to the back burner until eventually you are faced with THE decision.. to be honest or not be honest.. that really is the question!! 

Let's backtrack.. I can think of some times where honesty has really gotten me somewhere and turned a situation that wasn't so good into one that was.. on the other hand, I have been honest about my feelings and had them completely blow up in my face and lost precious people who were dear to me.. so I am not sure what MY best policy is. Do you hold it forever for the sake of feelings or do you get it out to save your sanity and possibly the relationship?!?!?!  It has been my experience that the longer I hold things in that bother me, more things tend to makes it way onto the list and I eventually withdraw myself completely/begin to not care anymore for the sake of not hurting people I care about. Again, not so sure if this is the right response or not.. How do ya'll deal? What do you do? I feel lost when it comes to these things.. 

I will say this though.. I would rather someone be honest with me up front about things that are bothering them, or they have done something they need to be truthful about or if I have done something to hurt them etc. because how can I fix something that I don't know needs fixing.. but not all people feel this way.. I realize that.. 

I feel as though I am babbling on now so I think I will end here.. sorry to be "Debbie Downer" but this has really been bothering me and a friend told me to blog about it so here it is.. 

I APPRECIATE ANY AND ALL ADVICE!!  :)  THANKS!

Exceeded my Goal!! Woohoo!!

I started the Wellness Center last Tuesday and I went everytime I was suppose to!! :) I have really enjoyed getting back into weight training and just exercise in general.. I am loving how it makes me feel and the level of energy I now have. I also experienced a "miracle" if you would like to call it that.. well, actually two miracles.. One being that my whole mindset on my weightloss has completely changed, in the greatest way possible! Before, I was wanting this weight off overnight and was almost willing to do anything to get it off that quick too.. but last week its as if God met me while I slept and when I woke up I no longer needed or wanted that. Yes, I still want to lose this weight and be the healthiest I can be but I now realize that its ok if I only lose the healthy 2 lbs a week to get there. If I eat how I know I am suppose to eat and workout the weight IS going to come off.. I am just enjoying being active again! Yay! My next miracle came yesterday.. let me back  track a little.. Saturday I went to workout and decided to hop on the treadmill.. Until then I had not been able to jog a full lap (1/4 mile) but I made it the whole lap Saturday and I was sooo excited. To many people this is not a lot but to me it was sooo much!! So now to yesterday.. apparently I have found my perfect speed and finally got my breathing down because I, Denise Dearman, jogged 1.5 mi without stopping!!!! This is HUGE for me!! I felt like I could conquer the whole world!! I have reached a new milestone that I never new I would ever reach! It felt like a million bucks! Now, I am loving to run.. I've found it quite addictive and couldn't wait til today when I could do it again and push myself even farther! I am so happy and excited with how it seems my life is changing for the better and I am at peace with it all. I can't wait til one day all the hard work and dedication pays off and I am who I know I can be! Watch out world! :)

My Favorite Girlie

 So the last few days have been mundane to say the least.. not much going on so not much to blog about :( Today was no different but I got inspired by an ENews newsflash on my phone earlier.. Mr. Jim Carrey himself blogged a profession of love to my most favorite funny girl in Hollywood, that's right Ms. Emma Stone!! If there is a movie made and she is in it then I watch it.. and she has yet to let me down!  I found it very funny but at the same time I could understand why one of the kings of comedy would profess his love for such a beautiful and real princess of comedy herself. After seeing it I wanted post a tribute blog to my favorite comedic girl!! I do believe that if we were to know each other we would be the greatest of friends! I really do admire her because  not only is she beautiful but  seems to be real & down-to-earth, which I happen to like that about people! So here's to you Ms. Stone!

How pretty :)

This is how I imagine she is in real life.. just laughing and having fun :)

Crazy, Stupid Love - loved this movie and loved her character Hannah and of coarse, Mr. Gosling :)

Easy A

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

The House Bunny - still one of my favorite movies ever.. Brittney and I cried from laughing so hard in the theatre :)

Emm just being pretty

Superbad - although I didn't care for the movie.. I loved her!

The Help - BEST performance to date.. she did a phenomenal job playing Skeeter

The Rocker

Zombieland - One of my most favorite funny horror flicks

The Help

This afternoon we met up with the Parnells to eat supper and go to the movies. After a pleasing meal at ole Applebee's we headed to see The Help! I have not been able to read the book yet but I cannot resist seeing Emma Stone in a movie, much less a drama. Boy, was I NOT disappointed!! The movie was amazing! If it is half as good as the book then the book is outstanding! I was very pleased with how well the acting was carried .. it was a long movie but held my attention the whole time. It is definitely a must see for everyone! You will laugh, you will cry, you will sympathize, you will want to hit someone, you will think... it is just good!

Man, I Love A Good Deal

Wow! I have done a lot of fun stuff today! The hubs had to work late tonight so lil miss Addi and myself got around and off we went! We finally found a great home for the pup we found from our yesterday walk and we took her to her new family. :) We then set out on our journey to the mall.. I have finally ran out of my 3 bottles of Bath & Body Works hand soap and was in desperate need of more. There were sooo many good deals I just kinda went crazy.. good crazy though. :) I love it when I get to the register and I hear the cashier say "You know you can get two more things for free!" I was so happy, it made my day! So I went back and got more! Now, I don't think I will be running out for quite some time.. but I stocked up on all New Fall Fragrances and let me tell you.. they are to die for!! My favorite is the Creamy Pumpkin but I couldn't resist the Mint Chocolate because it is one of my favorite flavors to eat lol and to have my hands and house smell like that taste just makes me smile :) All this for $25.00!! Total savings of $20.50!! Woohoo!!

We went on to pick up some Redbox movies, then we headed home for a relaxing fun evening.
On another note, I made my very first tutu tonight and I am sooo pleased with how it turned out! Pics to come tomorrow.. so stay tuned! :)

Finally Got My Jogger!!

Blog from Thursday  August 18, 2011:

My husband surprised me with a jogging stroller travel system today!! Woohoo!! I have been wanting one for some time now but A LOT here lately. With our new found liking for walking/running it is now crucial that we have a jogger.. we nearly threw a wheel on my regular stroller :( We have been looking for the "right" one for a while and I came across this one on good ole Craigslist and we got a steal of a deal!! :) So here she is, the new beauty!

She glides like a dream too! Addi loved the ride and we enjoyed running with her! This thing is going to see many miles I do believe!! :)

Inspirations.. They are New Every Morning

I woke up to the most sweetest giggles this morning.. my lil Adisen!! Man, does she make waking up the best thing ever! We did our normal daily routine and had a blast doing it! I got inspired today.. really inspired actually.. then I got overwhelmed.. I got to thinking about ALL the things I have as a goal and my list kept getting larger and larger.. as I stared at it I felt myself start to get discouraged.. then I realized something! Back track for a second.. about 4 years ago I set my heart to a goal, a goal that for so long I felt was out of reach for ME.. that goal was to get into nursing school! I had always been the "average" student, the funny one, the athlete. I tried to quickly dismiss this longing to become a nurse but God would not allow it.. so I set out on my journey. After 3 years, tons of hard work and basically no life.. I did it! I got accepted into a Nursing program!! It was one of the best feeling I had ever felt because I did it all by myself and finally the unattainable became the attainable.. so with that in my mind, I said YES to my list!! All of it! I am looking forward to feeling that same feeling of accomplishment each time I accomplish one of these goals!! :) So, I am gonna post my goals on here so I can be held accountable yet again :) So here they are in no particular order..   :)

• Run a 5k, 10k, 1/2 Marathon, Full Marathon
• Get back down to my goal weight
• Get my little business up and running (headbands, tutus, etc)
• Learn to sew
• Learn how to decorate cakes (want to make Adisen's cakes :)
• Finish school & become an official RN (newly added)


I couldn't help but to think about how amazing it would feel to be at my goal weight in a pretty floral print dress equipped with a cute belt and sandals, hair all cute with one of MY headbands looking back at this list and knowing that I'd accomplish most if not all of it!! I think I would be the happiest person in the world because I did the impossible for me :) I am yet again looking forward to actually having things to strive towards in my life!

I also want to tell my momma how PROUD I am of her!! She has been battling type 2 diabetes for some time now and has had trouble getting the lvls to come down.. today she informed me that not only has she been eating right and the lvls are coming down but her dr also decreased the amount of insulin she has to take daily!! Wahoo!! I am making a goal for my momma, to be completely OFF insulin for good and I believe she is on her way! :)

Back in the Groove

So a few days last week I fell off the wagon a little bit.. not too much but a little. Today I was back in full swing!! :) I ate like I needed to and Derek and I walked 1.2 miles this afternoon. Today I weighed and I have lost 4lbs since last Monday!! Yay!! I will definitely take it.. a loss is a loss!! Addi and I had fun today, like always. I absolutely love being home with her and seeing her grow and do new things. She is almost sitting up all by herself and just makes my whole world better! Today I took some pics of her being my lil "bird" while she eats. I can say "Want more?" and she throws her head back and opens her mouth like a lil baby bird and it melts my heart every time :) So Day 1 Week 2 is checked off as a success!!

Running with the Parnellis :)

Blog from Sunday August 14, 2011:

A few days ago I asked one of our favorite couples/friends, the Parnells (I call them the Parnellis  :)   ) to join us on our first 5k!! They said Yes!! lol. sounds like a marriage proposal but in all seriousness its just as important :) This will be all four of our first 5k and surprisingly we are all excited and ready to get the running going on! We did our couch to 5k as best we could but my regular stroller kept wanting to throw a wheel so we mainly let the guys run.. but the jogging stroller will be making a home with the Dearmans this week yay!! It felt really good to run/walk with other people .. made the time go by quickly!! I am really really happy about committing to doing this for myself.. it has been something I've wanted to do for quite some time now and I am finally doing it!

Date Night

Blog from Saturday August 13, 2011:

Wow, tonight Derek and I went out for a Date Night!! We had such a blast just hanging out together! We went rummaging at ole Hudson's, which we left disappointingly empty handed.  :( On the positive side we had a fantastic supper at Old Athens and then saw "Crazy, Stupid, Love". It was such a great movie and gets your mind to thinking about when your relationship was a baby and every single thing was new and exciting.. gave us some good things to converse on and we did a lot of reminiscing as well. As great as the beginning of our courtship was I honestly believe our present marriage stage can be even better. So, with that said, we embark on yet another journey lol.. My life is turning out to be a lot of new paths and "journeys" but I am so excited and optimistic about each one of them!!

Becoming Martha

Blog from Thursday August 11, 2011:

I started this little hand stitched quilt not long after I found out I was pregnant. I don't quite know how to explain it but it was like as soon as I found out I was having a little one I got all domesticated instantly lol. I all of a sudden wanted to sew and cook and do all those things that make you the Martha Stewart of the 50s. I started back to school and all of a sudden I didn't have time to work on my little quilt anymore so I have yet to finish it. I got it out the other today and have made the decision to finally finish it so Adisen won't be 1 by the time she gets it. Here it is as a work in progress, my very first stitching job :)

Nothing Like the Good Ole Days

 From Wednesday August 10, 2011:

I finally got my amazing husband to go down to my Maner's (grandmother) house and get me her really old sewing machines. I am yearning to learn the trade and what better equipment to learn them on. As I opened the boxes they were in it took my breath and took me back to when I was a little girl looking over my Maner's shoulder as she would stitch up a hole in one of my Grandy's shirts or make a new suit from patterns. Oh, how I miss those days! Nostalgia is a great thing and I am so thankful that we get to experience it and that "old" times are not forgotten as soon as they end :) I will keep ya'll posted on my new venture into the sewing world!! 

Gotta Love Epiphanies

This blog is technically from last tuesday.. but the internet has been out of commission.. so here it is.. better late than never huh? :)

Today has been a day full of epiphanies!! I love when God meets you in a very "odd" place. Today, I was met while watching a TV show.. anyone who knows me knows how much I LOVE me some TV on DVD and Netflix has been more than accommodating the last few weeks ;).. but back to my story.. so out of no where I got all teary-eyed because this young couple who were dying from tumors showed me that I have sooo much to be thankful to my Father for .. so many times I get on a pity trip and wonder the ole "why me?" sap story.. and I forget just how blessed I truely am.. beyond meaure!! I woke up with breath in my lungs to the most sweet sounding giggle in the world and I had a day full of choices to make concerning my life.. what a blessing!! We, as people, spend way too much time focusing on what we "don't" have that we waste our lives and miss out on what we "do" have!! So, with that said, I have a new challenge in my own life.. a life challenge.. to actually take the time each day to thank my Father for all the beautiful people/things he has given me in my life! Each were thought out and given by Him and there is a perfect plan for it all :) If I don't have something or something didn't happen just how "I" had planned then there is a perfect reason for the why! I am trusting in HIS goodness because HE is sooo good! So I got my answer to my coffee cup this morning lol.. sometimes life just isn't going to make sense and that is ok :)

Day 1 = Successful All Around!!

So today has been a GREAT day!! I have stuck to my diet plan and I even got off the couch and did my "Couch to 5K" training!! :) Yay!! I got a little help from THE girl who always makes me want to run, Ms. Britney Spears herself!! Earlier today Adisen and I went to Wal-Mart to check out some satin fabrics for some flowers I am wanting to attempt to do for my headbands.. Long story short, there was not an associate in the fabric dept and the male asst mgr had to come assist us ladies.. He apologized for our wait and put our stuff in a bag and said "Have a great day"! I think he wasn't sure how to right up our tickets but I didn't care because I got all my fabric for free!!

     

I am so excited to be starting this new chapter in my life.. Day 1 of my new beginning and it feels amazing!! Hoping to soon have my little business up and running but just got to get enough headbands made to show what is available! :) So Day 1 is almost officially checked off as a success!!

Twas the Night Before Diet..

So tonight is my last night of food freedom for a while for tomorrow I will be embarking on what I plan to be THE start to a new life. A life where I am healthy, happy and much smaller. :) I miss the old ME that I was about 8 years ago and for those who knew me then could probably agree that I am not the same as I used to be. Being overweight has robbed not only me but those around me that love me of ME. I just realized this fact about a week ago and it really broke my heart. I always saw alcoholics, drug users, etc as people who hurt those around them but not food addicts, no not them, they only hurt themselves. What a lie!! I realized that I had been robbing my husband, my family, my friends and most recently my baby girl of a very important person.. ME! So, with all that said, I am starting this blog to help hold me accountable to this journey.. although I realize the hard road ahead I can use this to log my daily progress and see how I am doing and I hope to do some fun things everyday to keep me busy. I have a friend on FB who has invited me to a 5k in October which I would LOVE to do so that is going to be my first goal that I am working toward!!! :) With God, Derek, my family, my friends and my lil Adisen I KNOW I can beat this once and for all!! Keep me in your prayers!! :) Here I Go...